the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
