You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
