sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
