isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
