she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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