Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
