dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
