I'm going to jail i love you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
