READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
