Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize