He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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