know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
