If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
