oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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