She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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