I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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