guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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