Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize