why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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