I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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