Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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