I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
