haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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