so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
