oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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