The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
