he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
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He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think my moral compass just broke
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