I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
