you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this will be a night to untag.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
