Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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