Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Randomize
