rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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