He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
