I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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