Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
