You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
