so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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