North Korea, Best Korea!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize