you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
