i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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