Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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