i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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