pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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