He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I believe in your delicious
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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