Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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