whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm gonna fight the coyote
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
