it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
