Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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  (248): ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores. http://tfl.nu/e4hq
  Replies (19) Good night (4895) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?

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  (815): Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction? http://tfl.nu/2awn
  Replies (22) Good night (3453) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  i cant believe jose lima did steroids

  (281): View more from Texas

  apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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  (713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf
  Replies (13) Good night (1608) Bad night (2102)
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  (619): View more from California

  he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

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  (619): he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days http://tfl.nu/5mt6
  Replies (10) Good night (4696) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3319) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house

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  (573): i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house http://tfl.nu/7ii5
  Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.

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  (862): Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons. http://tfl.nu/bh45
  Replies (16) Good night (2423) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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  (910): He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that. http://tfl.nu/o050
  Replies (3) Good night (2673) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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  (215): No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death. http://tfl.nu/8wb9
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (1529) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.

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  (709): I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards. http://tfl.nu/5dgw
  Replies (6) Good night (1278) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You're an idiot.

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  (662): What if our hands were octopus tentacles? (1-662): You're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/2n3l
  Replies (16) Good night (2162) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.

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  (304): Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/4u1i
  Replies (6) Good night (1030) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.

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  (563): The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka. http://tfl.nu/9mlx
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.

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  (408): Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA. http://tfl.nu/jstd
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?

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  (815): is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal? http://tfl.nu/lpf5
  Replies (14) Good night (515) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt

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