I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
You kept saying you had to be safe.