look no pants
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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