I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
