i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!