i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
