at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
