I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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