I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
