O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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