So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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