This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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