Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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