Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Terrible idea I love it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
