Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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